What was it like before I began meditating?
Before I started meditating my head had a million (or at least a dozen) ideas and thoughts going on all the time at once. It was very confusing and always led to a lot of starts with no finishes. I was also heavily into my "Card Carrying" status as an active Alcoholic.
What happened? How did I get started meditating?
I had my first session of Meditation in the Deaconess Hospital, on the Detox Unit, in Great Falls, Montana in July of 1981...Don't know why I was there as the "River of Denial" was still active in my body (but not in my soul).
The recreation gal came into the unit one day and said we were all going to go on a trip...Finally I thought we were really going to have some fun. She then told us to sit down in a comfortable spot and get relaxed?? I knew then that she was pulling the wool over my eyes as that didn't seem like a trip to me. But being as I have always, if not begrudgingly, been a follower...I thought what the hell, everyone else seems to want to do this, so I may as well give it a shot.
The Meditation, I found out later was a Guided Meditation. This was the first time in my life that I found peace!! And it was within me!! I was stunned to put it very mildly!!This gal had us all count our breaths and focus on our breathing while she took us on a visual journey that we could actually pick our own spots for our "Serenity Spots". She told us that she would teach us how to do this on our own so we could continue our Meditation after we were released from the Detox.
What is it like now? How has meditation affected my program and my life.
I have found this to be the most calming experience I have on a daily basis, sometimes it is long and sometimes it is short in duration, but it is always that moment in time where I have one thought only not the dozens of thoughts that always seem to be floating around in my noggin. Meditation time is also when I have contact with my Higher Power (God) or at least my version of him. I am also able to ask questions of the folks that I have lost in my life i.e. my Dad, Brother, Grandmother etc. I know some folks will think that I am on the same level as some one that sees little green characters running around (I really did when I was fully active in my addiction), but I am not concerned with that as this for me and it is my time of serenity every day...If it works, don't fix it!! I still go to the same spot for my Serenity (in my mind) and I am able to get into the Meditation on my own within just a few seconds to a minute at most depending on how deep I want to go and where I am at at the time.
Practice doesn't make it perfect, just so much better!!! I believe I am Sober today as a direct result of the Serenity that I get from my Meditation. That also allows me to focus on my Steps on a daily basis and gets me out or gives me a reprieve from the Drama that seems to constantly float around me every day.
I have a firm belief that Meditaion is not considered enough in most folks lives and especially in meetings, its been given a bit of verbalization but the practice seems to me to be pretty lacking...If I didn't have the Meditation, Steps and Meetings, I have no doubt I wouldn't be sober today. I am sure I heard this in a meeting many 24 hours ago and I love to say it...God will save your Soul, AA will same your Ass, you need your Ass to move both legs to get you to Church! Meditation saves my Mind so that I have the chance to make a decision to work on my steps which will get me to a meeting today!!!
I have been doing this for the most part on a daily basis since my last drink July 18, 1981. (Actually since about the second week in Detox in July 1981)